so is anyone secretly in love with me yet



fun fact: once in biology my teacher told us that “if you’re ever crying wipe the tears all over your face and they’ll help clear up your skin” then he explained that because tears are designed to clear dust and dirt from your eyes and will do the same for your skin and clear up acne and i remember thinking “excellent, fandom will make me beautiful”


this isn’t how i want to be remembered 

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the sound I heard when I was 9 and my father slammed the front door so hard behind him I swear to god it shook the whole house. For the next 3 years I watched my mother break her teeth on vodka bottles. I think she stopped breathing when he left. I think part of her died. I think he took her heart with him when he walked out. Her chest is empty, just a shattered mess or cracked ribs and depression pills.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s all the blood in the sink. It’s the night that I spent 12 hours in the emergency room waiting to see if my sister was going to be okay, after the boy she loved, told her he didn’t love her anymore. It’s the crying, and the fluorescent lights, and white sneakers and pale faces and shaky breaths and blood. So much blood.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the time that I had to stay up for two days straight with my best friend while she cried and shrieked and threw up on my bedroom floor because her boyfriend fucked his ex. I swear to god she still has tear streaks stained onto her cheeks. I think when you love someone, it never really goes away.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the six weeks we had a substitute in English because our teacher was getting divorced and couldn’t handle getting out of bed. When she came back was smiling. But her hands shook so hard when she held her coffee, you could see that something was broken inside. And sometimes when things break, you can’t fix them. Nothing ever goes back to how it was. I got an A in English that year. I think her head was always spinning too hard to read any essays.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s that I do.

It’s not that I don’t love you.  (via extrasad)

oh my fuck

(via flyinh-gh)




!!!!!!!GIVE AWAY!!!!!!!

Hi everyone!

I won a Mac Book Pro with retina display a few months ago, by doing a survey for my college. So its almost brand new.

For my birthday I’m going to get a new iMac, so I wont be needing this laptop anymore.

Because I didn’t buy this , it doesn’t feel right for me to have to sell it , so I decided that I would  give it away! :)

Sooooo…. because I have the most wonderful followers ever! I have decided to give this to you guyss <3 Of course , the process needs to be fair so here are the rules

First of all:


  • A MacBook Pro with retina display
  • includes the charger
  • also a little case for it (this was from my old laptop so its a little used, and its not the right size for it , so sorry about that— but hey you can always chose not to use it!)
  • A mini video of me telling you a super secret message when you open the computer ! yay (haha of course you can always chose to erase this as well.)
  • a promo to my followers once a week for a whole month!
  • I will ship internationally !!!!!! 


  • I really really love my followers, and I want it to be fair to them, so I will only be giving away this computer to the people who are following me
  • I will only count reblogs, and not likes. The more reblogs the better your chances ! ( you can always like it to bookmark it so you know who the winner is! )
  • because this is a pricy thing to give away, I would like for it to have a certain amount of notes before I give it away — 2700 notes is all I ask for. (this includes reblogs and likes )
  • no give away blogs!


  • Like I said I want this process to be fair, so I will be choosing one winner with at random with a website such as random.org
  • I will message the winner telling them they won the price.
  • remember to have you ASK BOX OPEN , because if you win and I can’t message you, I will have to chose another winner
  • also, if I don’t get a response back in a week, I will choose someone else.
  • dont forget that you have to be FOLLOWING ME to get the price!


- I hope you guys appreciate how much I love you all <3 thank you for being the most wonderful followers

- I have done other giveaways which you can check on the link moderlies.tumblr.com/tagged/giveaway  and everything always goes smoothly so there is nothing to worry about.

- Thank you again for being amazing!


my mom has just come for a surprise visit to my college and so I’m hanging out with her until next week when she leaves.
Since my mom is here and I still have to focus on school since finals are coming  up , I won’t have much time on tumblr.

So I have decided to extend the give away to the 25th OF APRIL , its just 10 more days. The reason is because I see my mom only on Christmas break every year, and I really just want to spend quality time with her and not worry about mailing the computer and finding the person, and waiting for them to respond and such.

I know it seems silly , but it does take time, and that times takes away my time from my mom and the finals that I have to study for.

I really hope this doesn’t inconvenience anyone . I’m just trying to do whats best due to the circumstances.  If there are any questions after this please inbox me , I’ll be happy to answer.



how many times have u looked at strangers and noticed small good things about them like “whoa the way their hair bounces is cute” “she has such nice eyelashes” “her hands look so soft” “those pants suit her well” etc?
so many random strangers. you have been one of those for so many other people too.
people do notice.